By Deanna Carpentier
I still remember standing in Marion Hall, watching my daughter's duffel bags pile up on her new bed and wondering how it was all going to fit. It was hot. We were both exhausted, and the hallway outside was a blur of rolling bins and hugs.
She was nervous.
I was too.
But underneath the nerves was something I hadn't expected: Pride. Excitement. Gratitude. And an ache in my chest knowing the goodbye was getting closer.
If you're getting ready to bring your child to Roanoke College this fall, you may already be carrying that same mix of emotions.
Move-in day isn't just a milestone for them.
It's one for you too.
You're watching your child step into a future they've worked toward for years while saying goodbye to the version of parenting you've known for 18 years.
No two families move in the same way, but here's what I wish someone had told me before I helped carry those boxes into Marion Hall:
Your child doesn't need a perfectly curated room on day one. Bring the essentials, then wait until you see the space before buying extras like storage bins and organizers. There's a Walmart just minutes from campus for whatever you end up needing.
You're there to support, not to steer. Somewhere around the third trip up the stairs, I realized I was offering one too many "helpful" suggestions about where things should go. That was my cue to step back. This was her space now, not mine, and she got to decide what went where.
Don't search for the perfect goodbye. There isn't one. When it was time to say ours, there was an awkward pause neither of us knew how to fill. Part of me wanted to stretch it out and find one more thing to unpack, but every extra minute only made it harder. I felt a lump rise in my throat and reached for the hug instead. I held it together until the parking lot, and then the tears came all at once.
Hours before, standing in that dorm room, surrounded by half-unpacked bags, all I could think about was what I was losing. What I didn't know yet was that I wasn't losing her. I was just meeting a new version of us.
The nervous college freshman I said goodbye to that day has become a young woman who can solve her own problems, speak up for herself, and make her own decisions. Watching that confidence grow has been one of the best parts of this chapter.
That's the real milestone of move-in day. It's the moment we realize our role as their parent is changing, from directing to trusting. It's part of the process for us and for them.
Moving my daughter into Roanoke College that day, I knew I was helping her begin her next chapter.
I didn't realize it was the start of mine too.
Deanna Carpentier is a certified life coach and proud mom of a Roanoke College graduate. She helps moms navigate the college launch and empty nest transition with clarity and confidence. Download her free College Launch Survival Guide for additional support during this season.